Domestic Violence: Shehu Sani Criticizes Emir Sanusi II

Former Senator Shehu Sani has voiced his disapproval of a recent remark by the 16th Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II, advising his daughters to retaliate if their husbands slap them. Sani took to Facebook to express his concern, warning against promoting violence in marital relationships.

Sani emphasized the need for self-control and peaceful conflict resolution in homes, urging against the idea of retaliatory violence. He wrote, “His Highness Sanusi should not be encouraging domestic violence in the form of slapping and slapping back. Rather, both husbands and wives should learn to control themselves during moments of anger, which often temporarily disrupts peace in homes.”

Offering practical solutions, Sani suggested ways to manage anger and prevent domestic violence. “If a husband is angry, he should walk out of the house and return later when calm. If a husband is shouting, the wife should stay quiet and allow him to vent. The phrase ‘I’m sorry’ can work wonders in restoring peace,” Sani advised.

Sani further stressed that shouting and escalating conflict can lead to divorce, saying, “Two people shouting at each other is often the root cause of many divorces. If a man becomes violent, the wife should protect herself by seeking refuge with her or his family.”

He cautioned that any form of retaliatory violence could irreparably harm marriages. “The moment slapping back becomes normal in a family, the marriage is destroyed, even if they stay together. Many people who participate in mass weddings are actually divorced wives, having embraced the idea of retaliatory violence. What are the odds that after slapping your first husband, you won’t do the same to the second one?” Sani asked.

Sani also encouraged couples to learn from their parents’ conflict resolution practices, asking, “Did you grow up in a home where your father slapped your mother, and your mother slapped him back? How did your parents resolve issues? Shouldn’t that be your guide?”

The controversy stemmed from Emir Sanusi’s comments made during the National Dialogue Conference on Gender-Based Violence (GBV) at Bayero University, Kano. The conference, themed “Islamic Teachings and Community Collaboration for Ending Gender-Based Violence,” was organized by the Centre for Islamic Civilisation and Interfaith Dialogue (CICID) and the Development Research and Projects Centre (DRPC), with support from the Ford Foundation.

During his speech, Sanusi criticized men who use Islamic teachings to justify wife-beating, revealing alarming statistics from Shari’a courts in Kano. “Over a five-year period, 51% of cases were related to maintenance, and 26% to harm, with 45% of these cases involving wife-beating and domestic violence,” he disclosed.

Sanusi condemned the brutality in these cases, noting, “Women have had their limbs broken, teeth knocked out, and have been beaten with sticks. Beating a wife is prohibited; it’s haram. Allah says all harm must be removed.”

Despite his condemnation of domestic violence, Sanusi reiterated his controversial stance on teaching his daughters to stand up for themselves. “When my daughters are getting married, I tell them: if your husband slaps you, and you come home without slapping him back, I will slap you myself. I didn’t send my daughter to marry a man who will slap her. If he doesn’t like her, he should send her back to me, but he should never beat her.”

Sanusi called for an education on non-violence for both sons and daughters, adding, “We must teach our daughters not to accept abuse, and teach our sons that violence against another human being violates their dignity.”

The differing views of Sanusi and Sani on how to address domestic violence have sparked a wide debate on the best approach to tackling this serious issue in Nigeria.